Following right after that wild Royal Rumble ending, let’s dive into WWF St. Valentine’s Day Massacre from February 14th, 1999. McMahon had somehow won the Rumble, Austin was out for blood, and we were firmly on the Road to WrestleMania XV.

Here’s how we’ll rate this one – with 8 matches on the card, each match will be rated out of 12.5 (100 divided by 8). Let’s hope the ratings aren’t a massacre. Massacre. See….ahh sorry. Let’s dive in!

1. Goldust vs ‘Bluedust’

What a way to kick off Valentine’s Day Massacre – Goldust in his full “Director” phase, complete with that bizarre black and white entrance with the film reel effects. Blue Meanie had been mocking Goldust’s theatrics for weeks, even coming out as “Bluedust.”

This was pretty much a squash match that went exactly how you’d expect. Goldust dominated most of it, throwing in his usual theatrics including that bizarre upper cut where he’d flip his wig back. Bluedust got a royal spanking and was then despatched of pretty easily by Goldie.

Meanie got in a few shots but it was in vain as Goldust finished him off and then delivered a Shattered Dreams for good measure.

There wasn’t too much to this, a quick squash to warm up the crowd.

Rating: 3/12.5

2. Al Snow vs Bob Holly – Hardcore Championship

“What does everybody want?”

Now this is where things get interesting. These two had been beating the hell out of each other all over the arena in recent weeks. The hardcore division was really hitting its stride around this time.

The match spilled out of the ring immediately, with both men using everything they could get their hands on. There’s a great spot where Holly whacks Snow with a toilet seat (because why not?). They fought through the crowd, backstage, and even into the loading dock area.

One of the most memorable spots saw Snow getting thrown into a popcorn machine, with kernels flying everywhere. Holly grabbed Head (Snow’s mannequin head prop) and used it against its owner, which was always a crowd-pleasing move.

They ended up actually in the Mississippi river! Love the pinfalls on the riverbank! Bob Holly picks up the win when he wraps Al in some fencing and jumps on top for the 3 count.

Rating: 5/12.5

3. Boss Man vs Mideon

This was during that weird Ministry of Darkness storyline where Mideon had been “sacrificed” by the Undertaker. Boss Man was representing The Corporation here.

Let’s be honest – this match was pretty rough. Boss Man was still solid but Mideon was still finding his footing with this new character. Lots of basic brawling and rest holds. The crowd was pretty dead for most of it.

Boss Man won with the Boss Man Slam after about 7 minutes that felt much longer. After the match, the Ministry surrounded the ring and Undertaker made his appearance. They destroyed Bossman thus setting up a future match between Undertaker and Bossman (more on this next time!)

Rating: 2/12.5

4. Owen Hart & Jeff Jarrett vs Mark Henry & D’Lo Brown (Tag Team Championship)

Fairly forgettable tag team match here. The appearance of Debra will always give the match an extra couple of points though!

Early on, D’lo was isolated as the champs got to work. Some more pretty suspect comments from the King during this one! D’Lo nailed a ‘Sky High’ which enabled him to make the tag to Henry who went after the champs.

The ending came when D’lo went to the top rope but was distracted by Debra and the puppies! Owen snuck in the ring and smashed Henry with a guitar to the legs and Jarrett then applied the figure 4 leglock. Henry had no choice but to tap.

Champions retain and the n Ivory goes after Debra, ripping off her top. Another point added to the match! (Just kidding).

Rating: 5/12.5

5. Val Venus vs Ken Shamrock (Intercontinental Championship)

This was during Val’s feud with Billy Gunn, but Shamrock was thrown in because… well, it was 1999 and everything was chaos! Ryan Shamrock (Ken’s sister) was involved in the storyline, adding some weird tension to the whole thing.

The match was actually better than expected. Val could really go in the ring when given the chance, and Shamrock was always intense. Some good technical wrestling mixed with Shamrock’s signature suplexes and Val’s surprisingly good mat work.

Oh did I mention? Billy Gunn was the special guest ref! You just gotta love the mid-card in 1999.

Shamrock had the ankle lock on Val, but his sister helped Val get to the ropes. This is when all hell broke loose. Shamrock punching Billy Gunn, Venus rolling Shamrock up, and Gunn fast counting. New champion crowned!

Shamrock then runs after Billy Gunn and the two go at it while Val celebrates in the ring, before Gunn comes back and lays out Val. 1999, we love you.

Rating: 7/12.5

6. Chyna & Kane vs HHH & X Pac

Tensions had been brewing for a while between Chyna and the rest of DX and it all led to this match. A pretty standard tag match (hard to concentrate as Shane is on commentary and is going crazy). Chyna gets tagged in and Michael Cole comments that this is the first time a woman has been involved in a man’s match.

Just watching X Pac & Kane go at it, and thinking about their awesome tag team later down the line (did I mention, X Pac was my fave?)

The finish saw all four throwing punches and then X Pac delivered a Bronco Buster to Chyna. Shane then tries hitting X Pac, but failed miserably and they both run to the back. Kane with a chokeslam on HHH and he rolls Chyna onto HHH for the pin. Enjoyable match.

Rating: 7/12.5

7. Mankind vs The Rock (WWF Title – Last Man Standing)

Mankind walks into Valentine’s Day Massacre as the defending champion. The intensity here was off the charts from the start. Rock and Mankind brawled through the crowd immediately, with Mankind getting revenge for those chair shots by introducing Rock to every guardrail he could find. Rock’s selling was fantastic – he made Mankind look like an absolute monster.

There’s a great spot where they end up at the entrance area, and Mankind hits a piledriver through a table. Then off they go backstage. Rock then hits a backdrop onto the concrete floor. It doesn’t look like much but god damn that’s got to hurt!

The climax of the match? Well after a Mandible Claw, and a Rock Bottom it took both to hit each other with a steel chair to finish the match with a draw.

The crowd DID NOT lilke this finish. Chants of ‘bullshit’ were ringing around the arena. I can see why they used the chairs I suppose after the controversy of their Rumble match with the chair shots. However, this was not a great finish and the fans let them know.

Not as brutal as their Rumble match (thankfully), but still incredibly physical and told a great story. Lost points for the weak finish.

Rating: 7/12.5

8. Stonecold Steve Austin vs Vince McMahon (Steel Cage)

Would this be a massacre? The main event we’d all been waiting for. If Austin won, he’d get his WrestleMania title shot. If McMahon won, Austin would never get another WWF title opportunity. Vince came out looking absolutely terrified, and rightly so.

The start of this match was exactly what we wanted – Austin beating the hell out of McMahon. Every time Vince tried to escape, Austin would pull him back in for more punishment. The crowd was going absolutely bonkers.

The match took a turn when Paul Wight (later Big Show) made his WWF debut by coming up through the ring! He threw Austin into the cage multiple times before chokeslamming him. However, the force of the chokeslam actually broke the cage, sending Austin tumbling to the floor outside – technically winning the match!

McMahon’s face when he realized what happened was priceless. Austin had his WrestleMania shot, and we had our first glimpse of the giant who would turn heel, then face, then heel again, hundreds of times over the next 25 years. It certainly wasn’t a massacre, but fun was had nonetheless.

Rating: 9/12.5

Final Rating

1. Goldust vs Bluedust	3/12.5
2. Al Snow vs Bob Holly (Hardcore Title)	5/12.5
3. Boss Man vs Mideon	2/12.5
4. Owen Hart & Jeff Jarrett vs D’Lo Brown & Mark Henry (Tag Team Titles)	5/12.5
5. Val Venus vs Ken Shamrock (Intercontinental Title)	7/12.5
6. Chyna & Kane vs HHH & X Pac	7/12.5
7. The Rock vs Mankind (WWF Title – Last Man Standing)	7/12.5
8. Stonecold Steve Austin vs Vince McMahon (Steel Cage)	9/12.5

Final Rating: 45/100

So Valentine’s Day Massacre was the mid-stop between Royal Rumble and WrestleMania and it delivered what it needed to. It progressed many storylines, the main being Austin’s road to the WrestleMania main event, and it had some fun moments (looking your way Holly/Snow).

Next up is the big one, WrestleMania XV!