Welcome back to my weekly WWE coverage. It is March madness! With Elimination Chamber in the rear view mirror, we will now see how much the landscape has changed in WWE. I still cannot believe John Cena turned heel. Lets start with some news.
News Bits
- John Cena references GTA VI and Two-Face from Batman following his monumental heel turn. We did indeed get the Cena heel turn before GTA VI. As for Two-Face, well he once said “You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.” Cold.
- Rey Fenix to AEW? Most likely as he has now finally been released from his AEW contract. With brother Penta already making waves on Raw, Rey Fenix could be introduced as either friend or foe.
- Travis Scott injured Cody Rhodes at Elimination Chamber. That is a legitimate sentence that I have said and it is factual accurate.
- Natalya Neidhart has been confirmed to appear for GCW Josh Barnett’s Bloodsport XIII. WWE continues to spread its roots into the independent scene.
- Rumours suggest that Aleister Black is expected to appear on WWE Smackdown imminently, which makes sense considering his wife Zelina Vega is part of the blue brand.
WWE Raw – 3rd Mar. from Buffalo, NY
Highlights
Pipebomb 2.0
Holy Shit. CM Punk is always entertaining on the microphone and I like any promo he is involved in. But this, this was an all timer. One of the best promos he has dropped in his career. He tears into The Rock and John Cena before turning his focus on Seth Rollins. It isn’t long until the visionary comes out and we get a wild brawl between the two. The brawl was so good, the crowd were chanting This is Awesome. When was the last time you heard those chants for a pull apart brawl? One of the best show openings for a Raw EVER.
Ooo Yeah!
Gunther continues to be a bully towards the Alpha Academy. He grills Otis for being a freak before their match. Surprisingly, Otis manages to hold his own rather well. He showcases his strength and wrestling ability, but of course the champion wins. His post-match attack is foiled by Jey Uso. Jey then fights off an ambush from Grayson Waller and Austin Theory, allowing Gunther to take advantage and choke out Jey Uso. A match that was better than I expected, Gunther continues to shine as a dominant bully and I liked the continuation of Jey Uso & A-Town Down Under.
Lyra gets it
Lyra Valkyria and Ivy Nile wrestled a good match over the Intercontinental championship. Ivy Nile is a great wrestler and I think she has a high upside. Lyra Valkyria though really impressed me here. Not only as a wrestler, but with ring psychology. She did an incredible job selling the leg injury after Ivy targeted it. She has not been in WWE for long but she could be a future star. I think she needs to drop the whole bird stuff though.
El Gable?
There was a short video of Chad Gable searching for someone in the dark in what I assume was Mexico. He meets an old man who gives him a gift, for exchange of some cash. Gable paying for the box showed some great comedic timing, he could be a good actor. Will we see a masked Chad Gable sometime soon?
John Cena Video Package
Not much to review here, but WWE did a phenomenal job putting together the video package from what happened at Elimination Chamber. The cuts to Cena’s 20 year career as a valiant hero. The cuts to crying members of the crowd. It was cinema.
Genius of the Sky
Not in a million years did I expect Iyo to walk out of Raw with the women’s championship, but I am overjoyed that she did. Not only did Rhea Ripley and Sky wrestle an awesome match, but I loved that Iyo paid tribute to her allies on the quest to victory. She used Dakota Kai’s running kick, Kairi Sane’s elbow drop as well as the Asuka lock.
After a competitive war, Rhea Ripley gets into an argument with Bianca Belair who is watching at ringside. Rhea thought Bianca helped Iyo get into the ring before the 10 count. The referee prevents a fight breaking out. Rhea goes for a top rope Riptide, but Iyo counters it with a hurricanrana. She hits her signature moonsault and gets a shocking win.
My prediction is that we will be getting a triple threat between these 2 and I am 1000% down to watch that.
Lowlights
What is Karrion Kross doing here?
I haven’t seen Karrion Kross wrestle for MONTHS. Is he injured? Anyways, my second question is what is his purpose? I understand that he is supposed to be like a devil on the shoulder, but he has not accomplished anything. He just hangs out and plants doubts in people’s minds but it never leads to anything. His story with The Miz just kinda stopped, nothing happened between him and Sami Zayn. Now he is talking to AJ Styles and I bet this is another throwaway segment.
Bron Breakker cut for time?
After we come back from a break, Bron Breakker is already out but he has already been interrupted by Finn Balor who stakes a claim for the Intercontinental championship. You’re IC champion not getting an opportunity to talk? It’s not ideal.
At least he drilled Carlito with a mean looking spear this time.
Results & Grades
CM Punk’s State of the Union Address & brawl with Seth Rollins (A+ Grade)
Heavyweight Champion Gunther defeats Otis w/Alpha Academy (B Grade)
Lyra Valkyria (c) defeats Ivy Nile to retain the Intercontinental Championship (B Grade)
Ludwig Kaiser taunts Penta, Penta gets some revenge (C Grade)
War Raiders defeat Creed Brothers to retain World Tag Championships (B Grade)
Bron Breakker takes out The Judgement Day (C Grade)
Iyo Sky defeata Rhea Ripley (c) for the Women’s World Championship (A- Grade)
Overall, I would gave WWE Raw a B+ Grade.
What is Tozawa Up To?
Welcome back to my favourite segment of the week covering our favourite professional wrestler. There hasn’t been any posts on his social media except for a repost from WWE covering the Gunther vs Otis match.
Akira Tozawa was of course in Otis’ corner against the Ring General. After the match, Gunther continued his attack on Otis. Tozawa valiantly tried to come to the rescue but to no avail. Jey Uso would have more success.
Later in the show, Akira and the rest of Alpha Academy show their respect and appreciation to Jey. They tell him they have his back. I’m hoping we might get ourselves a little bit of 6-man tag action. Gunther, Waller & Theory vs Jey, Otis & Tozawa. Anything that gives my boy Tozawa some more screen time.
WWE NXT – 4th Mar. from Orlando, FL
Highlights
Sol Snatcher
That finishing move Sol Ruca has is absolutely insane! I love it! A springboard, flipping cutter. I did not think they could innovate the cutter even more but they did. Sol Ruca and Zaria showed their quality with a great opening tag match against Chelsea Green and Piper Niven. It was a hot way to start the show.
One More Time!
Jaida Parker and Kelani Jordan had a very fun match. I hope this isn’t the end of this feud because I think they can take it up another level. I would love to see them in some form of Last Woman Standing match. This was great, big things in the future for both of these women.
Shawn Spears Finally Wins Gold
After over 20 years in the wrestling industry under many names, Shawn Spears finally wins a major (sorta) championship. He has won titles on the indie scene, but never for a major promotion until now. The main event match against Tony D’Angelo was nothing special but it was solid. The Don kicking out of the C4 was a great spot. Spears wins gold and now appears to be leading in a new family to take over NXT.
Lowlights
Another Chelsea Green ‘L’
As good as the opening match was, I am unsure how I feel about Chelsea Green walking out with a loss. Not only a loss, but it was a clean loss with Green being pinned! The United States champion comes to the developmental NXT and loses clean? I know that Chelsea can take a lot of losses and be okay because of the character she has, but I think she would have really benefitted from a win here, even if it was cheap.
Unless this is followed up with a championship opportunity for either Zaria or Ruca, then I disagree with this booking decision.
A Tag Team Mess
The Hardy Boys come out and do a generic promo. Praising NXT, praising the locker room and talking about their history. Nothing new or special, but fun for the live crowd. Then, Hank & Tank come out and brown nose the Hardys asking for some advice. Then, Briggs & Inamura come out to complain about Hank & Tank brown nosing. Hank & Tank dive onto them and they brawl to the back. The Hardy’s homecoming promo has been ruined and bogged down by throwing other teams in there to give them a rub. The fans booed both teams for interrupting.
Then Fraxiom come out and we get a stand off between “the best tag team of all time vs the best tag team today”. They also said we will find out who is the greatest tag team today next week. Considering NXT is a developmental brand, it is a bit silly for Fraxiom to claim to be the best tag team in the world if they’re not heels. It makes them sound egotistical as hell.
Unfortunate Ending
Jordynne Grace defeats Cora after only 3 minutes of action. She took a blow to the head and it seems that they called off the match as a precaution. I hope she makes a quick recovery.
Staged Press Conferences
Yeah so NXT ran these “press conferences” during the show, they’re all clearly staged based on what questions are asked and how it is presented. I don’t mind it, in fact it was a great opportunity to give some stars a final piece to deliver a passionate promo or create more drama ahead of Roadblock. That didn’t happen though. It was used for basic, generic promos that did not add anything. Fatal Influence appeared because Fallon Henley wants a North American title rematch, but even that didn’t have any major pay off. These segments were absolute filler and a waste of time.
Everyone Was Safe
So I guess after what, 4 weeks of threats and causing chaos, the mystery gang of assailants have decided to have a night off tonight. Not only was there no attacks, but there was NOTHING. No promo, no teaser, no social media post. NADA. Have they already given up? Is the angle already dead? They weren’t building momentum very well, but they have absolutely killed it now if they’re not even going to be referenced or present.
If this is the end, this group might actually be worse than Retribution. At least Retribution had a goddamn name for their stable!
Results & Grades
Zaria & Sol Ruca defeat US Champion Chelsea Green & Piper Niven (B Grade)
Jaida Parker defeats Kelani Jordan (B Grade)
Hardy Boys praise NXT, interrupted by other teams (C- Grade)
Jordynne Grace defeats Corda Jade by referee stoppage (No Grade)
Trick Williams defeats Kale Dixon by referee stoppage, calls out Eddy Thorpe (C Grade)
Shawn Spears defeats Tony D’Angelo (c) for the North American Championship (C+ Grade)
Overall I would give WWE NXT a C+ Grade.
Recommendation of the week
We are in the second half of what we all now refer to as the Road to Wrestlemania, so I guess that it is only fitting I dig up some Wrestlemania matches. I am going for some deep cuts that either do not get enough love, or maybe people have forgotten about. This one didn’t even make the main card for the show.
The Ultimate Thrill Ride, Wrestlemania 33. We had highs and we had lows. Hey remember Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg? That was fun. Remember Bray Wyatt using spooky bug projections against Randy Orton? Oh no, wrestling sucks. But wait, remember the Hardy Boys making their grand return? Oh yeah, wrestling is awesome! However, don’t forget Roman Reigns vs The Undertaker, which was one of the saddest, most boring matches to watch that gave The Undertaker a small amount of performance anxiety.
A great match on this card that didn’t even make the main card is between my fellow Geordie Adrian Neville, defending his cruiserweight championship against Austin Aries. This was back when WWE cared about cruiserweights and people still liked Austin Aries. The match is awesome, go check it out here at timestamp 43:00.
WWE Smackdown – 7th Mar. from Philadelphia, PA
Highlights
The Viper is Back
Randy Orton opens the show joking about John Cena being “Rock’s bottom” which is a great line that I think went over the crowds head. Then, Randy goes on a rant criticising Kevin Owens for his actions and being irrationally jealous. He promises to prove that Pat McAfee is only the second best punter in WWE. This was a great promo, Orton displayed a lot of intense emotion and great facial expressions. The viper is back and he has his sights on KO.
Hourglass Figure 8
Damn, Charlotte might be in the best shape of her entire career. After Tiffany Stratton’s victory over Piper Niven, the Queen attacked her and locked in her Figure 8 Leglock. I have never seen her get so much angle on the bridge. This was like a figure 16 or something. It looked even more impressive than I remember. Maybe I just haven’t seen the move for a while.
Real Housewives of WWE
I love myself some juicy wrestling drama. Naomi and Bianca Belair channel their inner Kyle Richards and have a dramatic, emotional promo in the ring. Naomi finally confesses to attacking Jade, claiming she did it for Bianca because Jade was leeching off her. Bianca cuts ties with Naomi and goes to walk out. Naomi is crying and gets angrier, eventually calling Bianca an ungrateful bitch. Jade Cargill arrives and lays down another beating on Naomi.
This was proper soap opera drama at its finest. I loved it. Side note, Jade Cargill looked INCREDIBLE here. She has been a miss on television. She has a goddess build.
Cactus Green
Chelsea Green cosplayed as Cactus Jack for her Street Fight with Michin. Nothing else to say except she continues to prove why she is my favourite.
Her street fight with Michin was solid, but it could have been better. It had 2 notable things happen though. First, the coast to coast by Chelsea was awesome. Then, we saw the return of Alba Fyre who has been off screen for quite some time. She helps Green retain the championship, seemingly becoming another Secret Service agent for the US champion. I am totally on board with it.
Cody Has Words
Cody Rhodes didn’t have words last week but this time he does and thank god. He drops a pretty hot promo addressing John Cena and how he is processing the biggest heel turn of all time. Cody has such great facial expressions as well as the ability to layer emotion into his words. He has had much better promos in the past, but this was still great and felt powerful.
Pro Gamer
Carmelo Hayes is backstage and he jokes about Orton being sat at home for 4 months playing Fortnite. Orton comes in and retorts “Fortnite? That game is for kids. I was playing Elden Ring.” If Orton wasn’t already one of my favourite wrestlers of all time, he just solidified the fact. Orton vs Melo next week should be fun.
Props
I got to give props to Shinsuke Nakamura. The last thing I’d want to do if a family member died, is go to work. He came to work and he got the job done in what was comfortably the match of the night. I imagine we won’t see Shinsuke around for a little while now.
Lowlights
Heatless
The triple threat tag match wasn’t bad but damn the crowd really couldn’t have cared any less. Unfortunately, I cannot blame them much either. The match was very basic and generic. They hit the big spots and dives with little rhyme or reason. It was just 6 men throwing moves for the sake of throwing moves. It was fine and for work rate purists they might like it more. However, considering the brawl last week and the intensity of the tag team division as of late, this was massively disappointing.
Take it Seriously
As fun as the Noami x Bianca Belair segment was, there was one thing that I could not get by. Naomi’s bloody sparkly, vajazzled neck brace. WHY?! I understand, Naomi’s whole shtick is lights and sparkles and whatever. But this is supposed to be an intense encounter between friends. Naomi looked like an absolute tool with her Edward Cullen neck brace. It made her silly in what should have been a serious segment.
Weak Ass Crowd
It is unusual to hear such a quiet Philly crowd. They’re known for being loud, passionate and opinionated. I know this wasn’t like the biggest Smackdown of all time, but they were lame tonight. Pretty much all of the matches were quiet with the tag match being brutally silent. They reacted to Cody and to Orton and that was pretty much it. They barely reacted to a street fight! Philly? Are you okay?
Worst US Title Reign Ever?
I don’t want to go too hard on this. There is a very high chance that this reign has been cut short due to the unfortunate passing of Shinsuke’s brother. However, this reign will unfortunately go down as one of the worst. Nakamura won the title from LA Knight at Survivor Series in November. His next title defence was on the 10th of January, against LA Knight. He lost, but it was by DQ after the Bloodline got involved.
Another 2 months later, Nakamura has his second title defence, once again against LA Knight and once again he loses. The whole reign just feels like a waste of time and a disservice to what Nakamura is capable of doing.
Results & Grades
Randy Orton Addresses John Cena & Kevin Owens (B+ Grade)
Tiffany Stratton defeats Piper Niven (C+ Grade)
Pretty Deadly defeat Motor City Machine Guns & Los Garza, Number 1 Contender match (C Grade)
Naomi confesses to Bianca Belair, Jade attacks again (B Grade)
Braun Strowman defeats Solo Sikoa by DQ, brawls with Jacob Fatu (C+ Grade)
Chelsea Green defeats Michin in a Street Fight to retain the US Championship (B- Grade)
Cody Rhodes Addresses John Cena (B+ Grade)
Drew McIntyre defeats Jimmy Uso (C+ Grade)
LA Knight defeats Shinsuke Nakamura (c) for US Championship (B Grade)
Overall, I would give WWE Smackdown a B+ Grade.
Top 10 of the Week
1) Iyo Sky
2) Rhea Ripley
3) CM Punk
4) Seth Rollins
5) Chelsea Green
6) Gunther
7) Otis
8) Lyra Valkyria
9) LA Knight
10) Shinsuka Nakamura
Match of the Week
Rhea Ripley vs Iyo Sky, WWE Raw
Next Week
Raw
Seth Rollins vs CM Punk, Steel Cage
The New Day vs LWO
Jey Uso vs Grayson Waller
NXT: Roadblock
Giulia (NXT) vs Stephanie Vaquer (NA) for both Women’s & North American Championships
Oba Femi (c) vs Moose for NXT Championship
The Hardy Boyz (c) vs Fraxiom for TNA World Tag Team Championships
Jordynne Grace vs Roxanne Perez
Ethan Page vs Je’Von, Street Fight
Smackdown
DIY (c) vs Street Profits for WWE Tag Team Championships
Charlotte Flair vs B-Fab
Randy Orton vs Carmelo Hayes
Miz TV w/Cody Rhodes
I’ve been rebooking all of the Wrestlemania’s from 1 to 40. Check out the most recent one I did!
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