Ah Wrestlemania V, the first Wrestlemania to actually have a well-wrestled main event. Whilst Hogan vs Savage was one of the best-told stories of the era, the rest of the card failed to live up to the expectations of it all. It’s not a fully one-match show, but it is probably a two-match show. Brain Busters vs Strike Force was a good match too. Here is what the card looked like:
- Hercules vs King Haku
- Twin Towers vs The Rockers
- Brutus Beefcake vs Ted DiBiase
- Bushwhackers vs Fabulous Rougeaus
- Mr Perfect vs Blue Blazer
- Demolition (c) vs Powers of Pain & Mr Fuji, Handicap for Tag Championships
- Dino Bravo vs Ronnie Garvin
- Brain Busters vs Strike Force
- Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant
- Hart Foundation vs Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man
- Ultimate Warrior (c) vs Rick Rude, IC Championship
- Bad News Brown vs Jim Duggan
- Red Rooster vs Bobby Heenan
- Randy Savage (c) vs Hulk Hogan, WWF Championship
We had an awful Bushwhackers match, an awful Andre the Giant match and a squash match between a manager and a rooster. A Red Rooster to be specific. It’s another exhausting one, 14 matches and a lot of them are useless filler that no one really cares about or remembers. WWE, here is how I would do it.
The show can open the same way with the WWF Women’s Champion Rockin’ Robin singing that American song they all love. The opener is a tag team contest between the Rockers and the Fabulous Rougeaus.
Two young teams that I think could have a very exciting opener together. The Rockers can get themselves a nice big win here, a babyface start to what is going to be quite a heel-heavy show.
Match 2 is an IC Eliminator match, just the finals. Let’s say there was an 8 man tournament, we are down to the final 2 here, the winner facing Ultimate Warrior later. Rick Rude vs Tito Santana. There needs to be 2 important stories told before the bell.
1) That Rick Martel is unsure about Santana wrestling twice in one night and thinks he might jeopardise their tag match later in the show.
2) Commentary need to really sell that this is the 4th Wrestlemania Eliminator and no one has managed to leave Wrestlemania as the champion after earning the title shot. Rude vs Santana I’d imagine would be a good match, Rude hits his neckbreaker finisher to win the match. Tito looks disappointed, Martel looks angry.
Next we have the tag titles up for grabs, Demolition defending against the Powers of Pain. NOT in a handicap match, just a standard tag match. A powerhouse vs powerhouse match, little Fuji involvement until the end.
Fuji tries to intervene causing a distraction, but its not enough to stop these Road Warrior knock-offs from retaining their championship. They would break the WWE tag team reign length record because of this win.
Mr Perfect vs Blue Blazer, all I would change here is give them another 5 minutes please. They had an awesome 5-minute match, 10 minutes would be very nice indeed. Mr Perfect walks out as a winner, perfectly.
Hart Foundation vs Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man. Another match that really happened. This can play out like it did in real life because it was mostly a good match. Hart Foundation get the clean win.
The next scheduled match is the Red Rooster vs Brooklyn Brawler, Bobby Heenan’s newest addition to the family. He says that the Rooster was always useless and could never make it as a star. He has more chance of turning this Brooklyn guy into a star and that is exactly what he is going to do.
He guarantees that the Brawler will crush the Rooster in minutes. Music plays, but it is not for the Red Rooster. It is brand new music and out comes, Terry Taylor. The man who portrayed the Rooster. Let’s not shackle him with this shit gimmick just to mock the man and WCW. It’s unnecessary.
Terry Taylor comes out, he proceeds to outclass and out-wrestle the Brawler for about 5 minutes and wins. He then gets to kick Heenan’s ass a little before the Weasel runs away. Hopefully this means Taylor can have a little run in the midcard as, you know, an actual wrestler.
Heenan stays out for a tag match also involving his family. Andre the Giant teams with King Haku to take on Jake Roberts and his partner, I am reluctant to say this, Jim Duggan. Yes, I hate nearly every Duggan match I have watched.
However, I have left him off the previous 4 shows and in reality the fans do really like him so I’ll give him this one appearance. Roberts and Andre have been feuding over Andre’s fear of snakes. They had a singles match in real life and it was really bad.
Andre should not be wrestling anymore singles now. The heels get a victory pinning Duggan, but it is Roberts who has the last laugh as he casts Damien the snake in the ring and the Heenan Family get out of dodge fast.
Ultimate Warrior defends his IC championship against Rick Rude, another match that happened for real. This was fine to keep around, it wasn’t a very good match but I do want Rude to still win the IC Championship because his run was entertaining.
He cheats to win like he did for real, handing the Warrior his first pinfall loss in the WWF. Warrior takes his frustrations out on Heenan as Rude runs off with the gold.
We can still have that Pipers Pit segment with Morton Downey Jr. I don’t know who this fake Tony Stark is but its always nice to see the Hot Rod do his thing.
The Brain Busters take on Strike Force in what was the second best match of the night. As Santana crawls to the corner looking for the tag, Martel drops off the apron, slaps Santana across the face and walks out.
A slow burn for over a year, Martel finally turns heel and Strike Force disband. The Brain Busters win the match and immediately send out a warning to the tag champions Demolition.
Our main event is of course Randy Savage defending his WWF championship against Hulk Hogan. I would have Miss Elizabeth initially in a neutral corner, but Savage shouts at her to get in his corner and she obliges.
As the match goes on, there are little moments where Elizabeth is caught between Hulk and Randy tearing each other apart, the referee warning her to stay out of the way. Towards the finish, the referee accidentally gets knocked out of the ring.
Savage shouts at Elizabeth to fetch him the world title so he can cheat. She fetches it and holds it but she cannot bring herself to enable her husband’s cheating. Savage grabs her and pulls her into the ring and she drops the belt, Hogan is back in and fights Savage to try defend Elizabeth.
The referee is back in the ring to get control of the situation, he demands Elizabeth goes to the back. Whilst the referee is distracted with that, we see a woman make her way through the crowd to ringside. It is Sensational Sherri.
She grabs the WWF title and slides in, clocking Hogan in the head with it. She gives it to Randy, he clocks Hogan with it too. He lays the title over him, hits him with diving elbow drop and hides the evidence as he goes for the pin. 1-2-3. Savage retains in the first ever heel victory in a Wrestlemania main event.
Savage should have always retained. He was still a huge draw on the house show circuit and it was about time they booked someone to be able to beat Hogan on a grand stage. Savage now has Elizabeth and Sherri as his managers, I think we could see some great scenes with an angel and a devil in his corner for a little while.
That would lead up until a title rematch at Summerslam, where Hogan can get his win back and Elizabeth can finally stand up for herself against Savage and Sherri. Debut Zeus there if you want, but personally I’m okay without the No Holds Barred themed tag match.
Just to recap, here is my rebooked card for Wrestlemania V:
| The Rockers vs Fabulous Rougeaus |
| Rick Rude vs Tito Santana, IC Eliminator |
| Demolition (c) vs Powers of Pain, Tag Championships |
| Mr Perfect vs Blue Blazer |
| Hart Foundation vs Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man |
| Terry Taylor vs Brooklyn Brawler |
| Jake Roberts & Jim Duggan vs Andre the Giant & Haku |
| Ultimate Warrior (c) vs Rick Rude, IC Championship |
| Brain Busters vs Strike Force |
| Randy Savage (c) vs Hulk Hogan, WWF Championship |
If you missed WrestleMania IV, you can check it out here. Next time we roll on to WrestleMania VI.
